'To Regular Users of This Restroom'

I am positive that 99.9 percent of the reason Princeton made it to third place on GQ’s douchiest colleges’ list was because of Marquand. Instead of announcing closing time, the staffers decided that the most effective and passive-aggressive alternative was turn off all the lights while the patrons were still working. I once heard a professor say that he wanted to take his class to see some artwork, but didn’t feel like dealing with the “White Glove Brigade.”

But when I found this little gem taped to the wall of the women’s bathroom in the basement of Marquand, I felt like I had discovered hot Frist pizza in the water bottle cabinet. It’s douchbaggery in print!

They could have just posted a sign that said, “Please keep the bathroom clean,” but no, Marquand has to do things with style. A letter, complete with target audience, was the way to go. The tone also had to be reminiscent of the matron of a girl’s finishing school in Victorian England.

I felt the need to rebel after reading this. I left Marquand to get a snack, and when I came back, I smuggled in two cookies by hiding them in my coat pocket. The bag checkers might have won the battle, but I know I won the war.