Forget the hubbub surrounding Elena Kagan '81 -- Princeton's latest piece of publicity comes from a slightly less predictable news source. Less than one year after naming the University the nation's No. 2 Douchiest school, GQ features a tell-all piece about Reunions by Troy Patterson '96 in its June issue, just in time for this year's parties. The four-page spread features three pictures of young revelers and one of Patterson himself downing a beer outside of his own Ivy Club. The headline? "The Smart Man's 'Jersey Shore.'"
The article describes the antics of alums young and old, including such gems as:
"We lurched around to the most youthful corner of the bacchanal, where the nooks of the buildings, covered in ivy and draped in shadow, witnessed desperate kisses, steaming pisses, restorative vomiting bouts."
"We dragged forth as if wading through seawater, searching for a second wind. Sand and hay sopped up the spillage at the beer lines. 'I haven't had any drugs all weekend,' one '09 said. 'I mean, I've done other people's drugs, but I haven't had any of my own.' "
Patterson details his time at last year's Reunions, bringing along a non-Princetonian photographer who is continuously amazed by the debauchery and scale of the event ("The ladies of '09 had their hands on the floor and their asses in the air, bucking at crotches on the upbeat. My companion, a Dutch photographer, lit up with delight.").
As a whole, the piece seems to be a fairly comprehensive introduction to the festive side of Reunions, for the outside world's benefit. But the also story seems to be ringed by a generally nostalgic feel for Patterson's time south of Nassau Street. "Every time I go back to the campus," he writes, "I smile fondly at hedges I once napped under, windows I vomited from, astronomy departments I hooked up in."
(Thanks commenter for letting us know that this article is now available online.)