By Monica Greco '13
There are several legends associated with our black squirrels here on campus. One credits their existence to a squirrel lab break, so to speak, and another to an experiment gone awry. Skeptics point out that black squirrels aren’t all that uncommon to begin with. There’s truth in this. I’ve seen black squirrels in New York too, though only in certain parks. (And no, I did not mistake rats for squirrels, take my word for it.)
However, the explanation that I’d prefer to believe is as follows: black squirrels were introduced into the Princeton “environment” as a gift from the esteemed and incredibly generous alumnus, Moses Taylor Pyne.
Legend has it that he sponsored the introduction of both black and orange squirrels, but the orange squirrels have since died out. This is perhaps a gross demonstration of school spirit—but I like it.
However, it makes me curious about other things, in particular, the ladybugs that made homes out of my windowsill last year. These ladybugs also happen to be reppin’ some Princeton school spirit, with their very distinct orange and black coloring. A coincidence? Perhaps, but I’d like to think not! In Princeton v. Mother Nature, it seems so far that we’ve got the upper hand.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Black Squirrels, an Alumni Gift
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Is That What I Call Music?
Tuesday, March 23, proved another momentous day in the history of music. Continuing a long and time-honored tradition, EMI North America, Universal Music Group and Sony BMG Music Entertainment released Now That’s What I Call Music! 33. In honoring this lyrically lovely event, it seems appropriate to reflect upon the time-honored history of the Now! franchise.
Arriving in the United States in 1998, Now! began as a spin-off of the original British version, which is now in its seventy-fourth installment. While the initial series has proved successful across the pond, in the United States, Now! has succeeded with flying colors. Featuring many of the most popular songs from the last twelve years, the series’ first twenty-nine installments achieved platinum certification, and a number of special edition albums have been released, including Now That’s What I Call Country, Now That’s What I Call Motown, and Now Esto Es Musica! Latino.
The latest release, Now! 33, features such current hits as Owl City’s “Fireflies,” Iyaz’s “Replay” and Ke$ha “Tik Tok.” While Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance” and the Ke$ha’s love of Mick Jagger seem obvious grounds for another platinum record, the only problem that might still arise for the fledgling album is its lack of one key artist. Over its storied run in the United States, no singer has appeared on more of its albums than Britney Spears, who has graced Now!’s track list 14 times. With songs ranging from “…Baby One More Time” on Now! 2 to “If U Seek Amy” on Now! 31, she has been a franchise player through this Yankee-esque musical dynasty. When you take the best players from every other team, how can you not hit a home run?
By Matt Butler
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Heading to the art museum
Well, the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful, And since we’ve no place to go, let’s head to the art museum.
This year has seen a renaissance in the Princeton Art Museum (PUAM). With the extending of the Museum’s hours on Thursday nights and a series of events planned over the first semester, more students have begun to take advantage of the University’s holdings in art and become engaged with the PUAM. Under the leadership of James Steward, the PUAM’s new director, and the organization of Elizabeth Lemoine ’09, the student outreach coordinator, these student activities, ranging from a scavenger hunt for a missing portrait of George Washington to a Nassau Street food tasting, have brought more students into the PUAM and begun to engage them with works of visual art.
During the coming spring, this interaction has the opportunity to grow even stronger as several exceptional exhibits arrive at the PUAM. The first two exhibits arrive this coming Saturday, February 20. The first exhibition, The Artist as Image, explores the representations of artistic identity in modern European and American art, highlighting works by Goya, Degas, Warhol, Chagall, and Cézanne. The Making of the Masterpiece: Nosadella’s Annunciation also opens on Saturday, providing students with an in-depth analysis of the artistic process that each work requires.
Later in the month, the PUAM features a show by Artistic Realization Technologies, which displays works by artists with physical disabilities and employs innovative techniques to help them express their creativity. Moreover, in early March, Architecture as Icon: Perception and Representation of Architecture in Byzantine Art will arrive at the PUAM. The first exhibition of its kind, this show will be devoted to the study of architectural representation in Byzantine art and challenges long-held assumptions in Western art history about the role and character of Byzantine art and architecture. Revolutionary in his reading of the formerly neglected architectural aspects of these works, Professor Slobodan Ćurčić of the Art and Archaeology Department curates this exhibit.
Building on the success of this fall’s student activities, these coming exhibits at the PUAM offer students the opportunity to expand their education and interact with some remarkable art within their own campus.
By Matt Butler '12, for Opinion.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Snow Day Hopes
Monday, February 16, 2003, marked a momentous day in Princeton history. After 21 inches of snow fell throughout central New Jersey, University officials canceled classes, leading to much rejoicing and many snowmen on Alexander Beach. Since that glorious Monday morn 7 years ago, Princeton community has not canceled classes for snow, and rumor has it that there had not a snow day for at least 10 years before 2003.
With Princeton’s campus already covered in white and the flakes falling throughout the night, one is left to wonder whether the University should cancel classes today and allow students to relive one of their greatest high school memories— a snow day. Such a cancellation, while preventing students from attending class and participating in some of the first precepts of the term, seems appropriate for today. It allows students a day of fun frolicking in the frost and perfecting their snowball throwing skills. For upperclassmen interviewing with banks and investment firms this week, a University cancellation of classes might spread to Career Services and save the interviewees from the embarrassment of showing up rosy-cheeked and dandruffed with melting snow.
A cancellation would save faculty and staff from unsafe road conditions. But even beyond safety considerations, a snow day would allow Princeton to seize one of the most esteemed honors in the Ivy League—having the fewest days of class. As noted in 2003, by canceling one day of class, Princeton reduced its total class days from 120 to 119, dropping below Harvard, which normally ties Princeton, for the fewest in the Ivy League. Now, that is a tradition worth fighting for…
By Matt Butler, senior columnist for Opinion.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Toilet Terrors, Hygiene Horrors
In the fall of 2008, students returned to campus to find manual soap dispensers replaced by automatic soap dispensers and automatic toilet flushers replaced by manual toilet flushers. These changes, intended to make bathrooms more environmentally friendly have in my personal experience dealt a one-two blow to personal hygiene.
When using a toilet that flushes automatically, I don’t need to touch an icky green handle that everyone else on my floor’s poopy hands also touched. The “green” toilets leave me with the option of jumping or stomping on the handle or going barehanded and trying to wash off all the grossness later. A study by The Daily Princetonian shows that the handle maker’s claims that the handles are coated to protect against germs is an exaggeration at best. When flushers are too high to stomp on or I am feeling uncoordinated, I risk getting all the germs in the middle petri dish in the aforementioned study on my hands.
Flash forward to the soap dispenser. Approaching the soap dispenser, I stick my hand under and – nothing. Maybe the light blinks. I wave my hand in front, around, try waiving one hand while holding the other one under. Still, nothing. Maybe the dispenser makes a dejected noise but doesn’t give me any soap. Based on personal experience, I would say that this happens about 15% of the time. In contrast, manual soap dispensers are pretty reliable. There could be no soap, so you slide the bar left. If you get really desperate, you can always open the dispenser and squeeze some of the soap from the bag on your hand.
This issue may not concern you as much as it concerns me, but it should.
By Mendy Fisch, Executive Editor for Opinion.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Holiday Procrastination
Finally those nights that pile up right before winter break filled with problem sets, essays, and exam studying galore (‘tis the season) have come to an end. So what’s left for those Princetonians (cough, Type A personalities, cough) who have a problem with just sitting around to do?
1. Sit around and do nothing BUT while catching up on all the T.V. that you’ve missed or tuning in to the Christmas movie marathon (ABC family… don’t pretend like you’re too old)
2. Scour Princeton FML/Princeton good crush to your heart’s desire without feeling guilty about it
3. Sporcle.com (once you’re on, there’s no going back)
4. Elf yourself and your roommates
5. Create your own Jackson Pollock
6. http://www.stumbleupon.com/
And finally for those of you who are already stressing over upcoming exams… just don’t. In case you really just can’t help but be productive:
1. Do the readings you skipped over during the semester
2. Create a list of the key concepts the class went over
3. Start looking over old tests and problem sets
4. Gather books and articles for your research paper and start writing it
5. Look over lecture notes
Happy holidays! (And if you want a truly happy holiday I’d recommend that you just skip the 2nd list).
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Complain, complain
Complain, whine, complain, whine, bullshit, complain… and on it goes, such is the verbal existence of many Princeton students.
Don’t get me wrong, I love to complain. My favorite is the classic “I’m so tired.” On Monday I gave it a twist by adding a dash of “today felt like a week!” And yes, if you’re wondering, when some probable curve-wrecker wrote “Stop complaining, work harder” on the blackboard near the Rocky-Mathey library, I responded with a chalky “Fuck you :)!”
During lunch at my eating club a few days ago, however, I realized things might have gone too far. I was chatting with someone about the things I had due in the next few weeks, no complaints intended, when the MOL major sitting next to me felt the need to butt in and emphasize the intensity of his work load.
I’m a history major and all my friends are either pre-meds or engineers. I get it already: humanities majors never do any work/have no job skills/should be beaten with lead pipes, whatever. But this didn’t feel like a regular bashing. It was the ugliest and most obnoxious form of complaining: “the monopoly on suffering.”
Acting like you’re the one with the worst lot is not only self-centered and reeking of bad social skills, but an insult to people in the world who have to worry about than a couple of nights with a few hours sleep. I think we can all agree that everyone here works hard, even those of us without problem sets. Beat me with a lead pipe, I’m biased.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Missed Connections
Recently, Princeton has come on board with various internet fads: Princeton FML and a new Facebook group, Overheard at Princeton, which entails submissions of all the bizarre and entertaining things Princeton students are overheard saying. In keeping with this trend, Harvard has a new website, I saw you Harvard. The site is essentially missed connections. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, it's when two people cross paths but don’t have the chance to converse: “I saw you... in Eliot D-hall reading what looked to be an essay. I love how you're always wearing a black scarf and your adorable British accent. I know you must be hella smart since you're on that special fellowship I wish I knew your name...” However creepy it may be, I think it’s worth it to get on the bandwagon Princeton!
Monday, November 30, 2009
Vacations call for a makeover?
Another vacation (scratch that 2 days) has come and gone and with it has come the overwhelming but all too familiar feeling that days off from Princeton are fleeting. Maybe this has something also to do with the fact that vacations here are inherently bizarre and in my opinion need to be altered. Yes, we get a longer summer but most of our friends at home have already left by the time August rolls around. Our winter break is all too short and filled with stress over approaching finals. And then suddenly is that random week of intersession, which is nice, but pretty inconvenient for those who live a distance away. Moving finals to before winter vacation would solve most of these problems, but maybe I’m just another Princeton student who should stop complaining about nothing.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Alumni Remembrances: Mohsin Hamid '93
This week, we have a contribution by Mohsin Hamid '93, author of Moth Smoke (2000) and The Reluctant Fundamentalist (2007)!
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WHEN UPDIKE SAVED ME FROM MORRISON (AND MYSELF)
By Mohsin Hamid
One day in the spring of 1993, Toni Morrison took me out for lunch. It was my last semester at Princeton, and I was in her long-fiction creative writing workshop. I'd done two semesters of short story work with Joyce Carol Oates, and I hoped to be a novelist. So I was writing fast. I think we had to produce thirty or forty or fifty pages for Toni. I'd hit a hundred and was still going.
We sat and chatted and ate (what I don't remember, but it included fries). I told her I'd gotten into law school. I told her I was planning to take time off first, to head back to Pakistan and write. I told her I'd been cooking for myself this year. I told her I made a mean pasta and she ought to give it a try. Really? she said. Yeah, I said. I invited her down to the basement kitchen of Edwards Hall and told her she wouldn't be disappointed.
To my surprise, she said she'd come. It better not be over-boiled spaghetti in some sauce out of a can, she warned me. I smiled. Confident. As we left the restaurant she noticed a paperback hidden between notebooks and printouts in my hands. She asked me what it was. I told her it was Jazz. She asked if it was the first of hers I'd picked up. I confessed it was. She signed it for me. Then she said, Read Beloved, it's good.
I still remember how she said it: good. Drawn-out. Beautiful and powerful, the way words she spoke often were. When she read our stuff out loud to us in class, it sounded like literature. So I picked up Beloved next. And she was right. It was good.
I thought I was pretty good myself back then. I thought the novel I was writing was good. I thought my cooking was good. I was twenty-one years old and didn't know better, thank goodness. And luckily for me, Toni never showed up for that pasta.
Instead, I got a message on my answering machine from her assistant. Toni couldn't make it that day, sadly. John Updike (I think it was Updike) had come to campus. I hadn't yet read Updike but the name sounded familiar. I called back and said no problem.
It wasn't until later that it occurred to me my cooking might not have been quite as good as I thought it was. My pasta was indeed spaghetti. It was probably over-boiled. And while the sauce didn't come out of a can, it did come out of a bottle. All I really did was add some hot chillies to it. And maybe a couple of other spices. But maybe not.
Why I was so proud of it, I can't now for the life of me recall.
As for the novel I was writing, I finished a draft for her class. Toni liked it enough to ask me to read from it at the annual end-of-year creative writing event. I still have a manuscript with several pages of her exquisitely fountain-penned suggestions on the reverse. I figured I was almost done.
It wasn't ready for publication for another seven years.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Battle of the Ivy League FMLs
FML. Those 3 letters have quickly worked their way into our daily vocabularies after the birth of fmylife.com. If you’re not aware of the site, all I can say is treat yourself to an FML, get out more. Harvard felt the need to have its own FML. Yale followed suit recently. Should Princeton establish one? I posed this question to a fellow classmate recently and received the response: “YES. We have grade deflation! Harvard gives out A’s like candy!” In any case, whether we choose to lament over our lack of A’s or other woes, I hope that Princetonians would be better at constructing FMLs than our counterparts: “Sometimes I don’t have time to pee in the morning. FML” (Yale) or “I did not have time to go to CVS to buy shampoo, so I washed my hair with a bar of soap. Hey, at least I washed my hair, right? FML” (Harvard). Harvard, shampoo is soap! Come on, Princeton, we should be able to do better than this!
Saturday, October 31, 2009
A Reflection on Princetonween
I’ve never gotten the chance to attend the festivities so perhaps the title of the post is misleading. Instead, these past two years, I’ve been holed up in my room memorizing conjugations in preparation for my midterm on Friday (really, Italian department, really?), while most of my classmates have been gallivanting around in ridiculous and sometimes overtly risqué costumes. So, have I seriously missed out?
This year I heard a mixed bag of reviews of the night. This was surprising because in the past I’ve heard adjectives ranging from CRAZY to SO.MUCH.FUN used to describe Princetonween. Part of this sentiment, I assume, comes from not only that it is a night to retreat back into our childhoods (except with a new college-age twist) but because almost everyone comes out to celebrate. Personally, I think there should be a move to institute campus-wide trick or treating, but maybe that’s just me. What are your thoughts on the tradition? Should it be revamped?
Friday, October 23, 2009
Fruity Yogurt: a Twist on Twist
As an avid Bubble tea (Pearl tea, Bobba... what have you) drinker, I was delighted to find that a new shop was opening on Nassau in Booster Juice’s old spot that would be serving Bubble tea in addition to frozen yogurt. Does it get any better? My roommate and I headed over to Fruity Yogurt (they could work on the name) for the grand opening and were told that that their ice machine was broken, and to come back a little later. We were promised a 25% discount on our return.
We headed over to Twist to do some sizing up before things would be forever different in frozen yogurt land. Twist was offering free reusable cups with a purchase. If you bring in the cup to put the yogurt in you can get 10% off your purchase. Is this Twist’s effort to try to combat the new competition? Hm…
The moment finally came to try out Fruity Yogurt. It was hardly full but there were enough people shuffling in and out to keep it busy. The sheer array of frozen yogurt flavors, ranging from peach to pumpkin, was impressive. In addition, they have smoothies, slushies, and Japanese green tea. Fruity Yogurt offers the same toppings as Twist’s and then some (lychee, cherries, coconut jelly, jelly beans, craisins, chocolate cookie sticks). One customer said that their yogurt wasn’t as good as Twist’s, tasting too “sorbet-y”. I was slightly disappointed with the chalky under taste of my almond Bubble tea. I’d rather get my tea next time from Tiger Noodles. Most people I know are die hard Twist fans so I don’t think the appearance of the new store will faze them. Twist also wins as a studying spot. However, if you’re dying for some Bubble tea, that could tip the balance in Fruity Yogurt’s favor.
The question is what’s next in store for Nassau Street? I want some milkshakes.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Alumni Remembrances: Mercedes Naficy D’Angelo ’84
This segment is back! Read the memories and musings about Princeton from those people who've lived in your dorm room, eaten in your dining hall and run the same path to that 9 a.m. class before you.
This week, we're featuring a piece written by Mercedes Naficy D’Angelo ’84, Principal at Naficy Consulting and President of the Princeton Club of Northwestern New Jersey!
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"Eulogy for a Fallen Club"
Culture shock wasn’t really new to me when I first walked on campus that beautiful fall morning in 1979.
The first born offspring of an unexpected union between an Iranian and Puerto Rican who had serendipitously ended up at Iowa State for post graduate work, I was born into cultural tension. Having lived in both of my parents’ fatherlands and learned both of their mother tongues, I was quite accustomed to being the outsider, the different one; the unusual specimen to be regarded with curiosity. More importantly, I was used to feeling that peculiar sensation of not fitting in. I communicated differently, processed information differently. I was different. And I learned to wear my difference with pride. Every cultural encounter that had come my way had been handled, dealt with, internalized, disseminated and understood, so that I could honestly say I had earned the right to walk proud despite my obvious differences from everyone else.
I was surprised, even hurt to notice during those first few weeks at Princeton that the pain of being different was still possible. I would look at the blond, fair eyed, beautiful people who were the clear majority and find that they didn’t really fit into any of the ‘types’ or people that I had met and learned to interact with during my international life. These were the people one read about in books; the American archetype: healthy, vibrant, athletic, blond, blue eyed boys and girls with gleaming white teeth, indicating the privilege they had been born into – if not the privilege of wealth, then certainly the privilege of opportunity that so many in the world never experience.
Princeton was great at many things in those days, but I can honestly say that it was terrible at helping freshmen – especially those from different backgrounds – settle in. My Resident Advisor (RA) was …who was he? I don’t think I even spoke to him after the first day. So I was pretty much on my own. And while I had a lot of fun and made a lot of friends, I can honestly say that I didn’t really find a niche, that first year at Princeton. Until the day I walked into Dial Lodge; on that day I walked in and found myself at home for the first time at Princeton.
Dial was a non-selective Club; and as such, a testament to how random selection can bring together a diverse group of students. It appealed to me because it was non-selective. Princeton in the late 70s and early 80s was – in my opinion – segregated, whether by design or by choice. I didn’t want to join a minority group, since I had never felt wholly a part of any one group because of my own multi-cultural background. I wanted to be integrated within an inclusive and diverse group. I definitely did not want to cocoon within a subgroup of the University, whether the Latinos or the “Third World Center.” The name alone was enough to send me running in the opposite direction.
And I couldn’t get past the idea of bickering. The very word seemed incredulous to me. The concept that a group of people would decide if I were good enough – fun enough, smart enough, cute enough, interesting enough - to join them seemed absurd. Selectivity was an anathema to the essence of who I was. Imagine my surprise when decades later my daughter decided to bicker, only to have her heart broken not once but twice by a process in which she was determined not good enough to join. And now, my other daughter is deciding to bicker, too. She may have better luck than her sister, but I have reservations about any Club that selects its members based on criteria that are subjective, willful and partisan.
The sun dial on the building is the only reminder to students of this new millennium of Princetonians of a Club that made such an incredible difference to me. Now the Bendheim Center for Finance, Dial Lodge was a surprisingly diverse and incredibly inclusive place where I could go and be myself – no questions asked. Dial was where an artistic Cuban-American boy could break bread with a feisty Native American; where a vociferous crew of rowdy wrestlers hung out with introspective intellectuals; where a Catholic, Jewish and Protestant believer could huddle together on the couch for three hours on a Sunday afternoon determined to fill every damn square of the NY Times crossword puzzle.
I have of late been drawn into the efforts of Cannon, Elm and Dial Lodge alumni to renovate and open the former Cannon Club. What we will name it and whether it will be selective or not are still being debated even as we finalize the contracts to start breaking ground. I am sure the debates will be spirited; I pray that our decisions will be good ones for future generations of Princetonians. I selfishly hope that we can bring back to life some of the signature Dial events like Jesse Bratcher’s fabulous fried chicken on Wednesday night followed by the Wednesday Night Club, or Yasgur’s Farm on the Lawn, Champagne Jam, Barbarian Day… well, maybe not all of them. Most of all, I hope that we will succeed in creating an environment not only of diversity but also and more importantly and environment of inclusion; one that celebrates our differences.
At my 25th reunion this past June, I was talking to a fellow Dial alumnus about the good times we had shared at Dial. He was one of the blue-eyed, blond boys with gleaming white teeth who actually chose to join Dial. He echoed my sentiments precisely when he said: “Dial was what kept me sane. It was the only place on campus where people were normal.” In praise for non-selectivity I have to say that even though you weren’t sure who was going to end up at your Club, every year at sign-in you knew that it was going to be fine. We would welcome this diverse group of sophomores into our Lodge, and ultimately into our hearts.
Mercedes Naficy D’Angelo ’84 S83 P11 P12
In times like these, it's good to be a Tiger
We’re pretty lucky. A few weeks ago, we all received that e-mail from President Tilghman detailing what the recession means for Princeton and describing where we stand currently. Last April, Princeton foresaw a loss in the value of the endowment of up to 30 percent. Fortunately, as Tilghman informed us in her e-mail, we actually only lost 23.7 percent.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Reality Check
When I was nine or ten, I would sneak out of bed at night to watch episodes of The Real World on MTV. I didn’t understand the dynamics of the group, the drama that ensued, or why they were so often naked, but I was fascinated.
Since then, reality TV (especially on MTV) has mostly turned to crap. No longer innovative, it’s the same premise over and again: real people placed in ridiculous situations who react in surprisingly predictable ways. Or worse: real people placed in mundane situations who are just as boring as they were before the camera turned on.
Don’t get me wrong, not every reality TV show running now is horrible. American Idol has its merits in spite of Ryan Seacrest’s smarmy grin. Occasionally, there is a legitimate social experiment (Dating in the Dark), which, unfortunately, only succeeds in telling us what we already know (we’re all incredibly shallow). Despite the absurdity of shows like Survivor and Fear Factor, the contestants have genuinely earned their 15 minutes. And Tyra Banks is cheesy, and her models aren’t too bright, but I still like America’s Next Top Model.
However, there are shows that actually manage to inspire. I’m a sucker for Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. It’s that whole triumph-of-the-human-spirit thing that makes me watch whenever I need a good cry. Little People, Big World had the same effect. And John & Kate. Before.
My real problem lies with shows like Laguna Beach and The Hills. I can’t comprehend why so many highly intelligent people enjoy watching the escapades of the truly simple-minded. Some say it makes them feel smarter in comparison. Others genuinely care about Lauren Conrad’s problems (note: not the highly intelligent ones). And in truth, I probably wouldn’t care either way except for the fact that boring narcissists like Spencer and Heidi Pratt get paid for their arrogance, ignorance, and immaturity. They claim to be devout Christians, but I’m fairly certain God’s not listening to their prayers.
I don’t know what the future holds for reality TV, if it will go from bad to worse, or if it will actually make us think like sociologists. I just hope to God Paris Hilton finds a friend.
--Yaa Kumah '12
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Popping the Princeton Bubble
Often, I forget that outside of Princeton there remains a place inhabited by people who were just like me before I walked through the Fitz Randolph Gates. I know that this observation is certainly not ground breaking, but I think it can and should be said again. Aren’t we Princetonians supposed to have far reaching insights and experiences into this world beyond the orange bubble? My homepage is set to the New York Times website in hopes that I will be reminded of this world every time I log onto my computer, but only sometimes do I actually scan the site; mostly I quickly click onto Facebook instead.
Let’s keep the conversation simple; putting aside Afghanistan for a second, many of us haven’t been farther down Witherspoon than the Princeton Public Library. When I do venture out onto Nassau Street, I always feel like somewhat of an alien as I realize that people, other than students and faculty really do exist, as well as that non-Princeton events continue to prevail on the outside. But whenever I do go off campus, I’m always slightly relieved and more relaxed, as I am reminded of the fact that Princeton is certainly not the be-all, end-all. This is comforting. Yet, maybe my apparent dilemma isn’t quite so problematic. In reality, that’s what college is for: retreating into a smaller world for 4 years, then coming out of it ready to tackle and to contribute to what’s outside. Whether it’s true or not, I’m going to tell myself this as I hide out, surrounded by the comforts of this wonderful bubble called Princeton.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Zimmerman Telegram: Bring me a shrubbery
The Zimmerman Telegram
A round-up of the week's news with Zach Zimmerman
Kindles yet to woo University users
As part of a new sustainability pilot program, the University provided students in three courses with Kindles in order to complete their reading; however, early student reactions appear to be lukewarm. “Not to be a downer, but I’m really not a big fan of the Kindle,” said Bob Student ’10. “I much prefer some dried shrubs or small branches when I start a fire. So I really find it odd the University is providing an expensive piece of technology for me to warm my baked beans.” After several electrical sparks came from the device, Bob Student ’10 let out a heartfelt “Yippe-kay-yeah!” After learning he would have to return the Kindle at the end of the semester, however, Bob was noticeably silent, and offered the following insight: “Shit.”
U. announces members of eating club task force
Seven undergraduates were chosen this week to serve on a task force to examine the relationship between the University and the eating clubs. The undergraduates represent a diverse range of students, coming from sign-in clubs, Bicker clubs and four-year colleges. Luckily, however, no seniors were selected. I mean, really, what would someone who has been at the University three years, eaten in an eating club for more than two weeks and might even be an officer of an eating club have to add to a task force on University-eating club relations? Nothing. Exactly.
Turkish prime minister talks of a new world order
In a recent visit to campus, Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan spoke to students and faculty regarding the creation of a new world order. “McMahon has taken this company down the wrong road, and it’s time for a war,” the prime minister announced. “Macho Man Randy Savage wants the shake things up? We’ll shake things up! I challenge McMahon to choose his three best wrestlers for a battle-to-the-death match next Wednesday on pay-per-view. We’ll show him what rough really is!” The Prime Minster was then escorted out of Richardson Auditorium by two women dressed in bikinis. “AAGGGGGGGAGAHHHHHHHHHH,” he added.
Where have the ‘Big Figures’ gone?
The modern art piece ‘Big Figures’ was removed from in front of the Art Museum earlier this summer and returned to the Fishers, who had loaned the piece to the University. Of course, as President Tilghman’s most recent campus-wide e-mail reveals, those were not the only Big Figures that have left Princeton.
Cafe Viv cuts hours
Cafe Vivian has reduced its hours this year in an attempt to cut costs and respond to student demand. This reduces the number of places on campus where a student can buy a four-bite pizza at midnight for six friggin’ dollars to zero. Also, the number of salad bars with unusable, wooden tongs has been reduced to zero, and the number of super weird energy drinks when all you want is a goddamn Coke has been reduced to zero.
USG sends professors letter on grading
The USG recently sent a letter on grade deflation to all members of the Princeton faculty. The letter is reproduced below:
Worst week ever
It was a really bad week for Kate Siegel. She got the swine. I LOVE YOU!
--- Zach Zimmerman
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Bad Places to Live on Campus: Forbes Addition
I’d like to share with you today a few insights into what is commonly referred to as one of the worst places to live at Princeton: the Forbes Addition. Now, as a dweller in said Addition, my personal experience hasn’t been terrible. Sure, there was a stinkbug invasion a few days back, causing my room to smell like stale feces, and the whole floor is perpetually too hot, but these are only minor details. In fact, my RCA commented that the entire Addition would still be standing after nuclear war. I can only see that as a positive.
Apparently my point of view is in the minority. A few weeks ago, I discovered the Room Draw Guide, where students from previous years describe the highs and lows of their rooms. I’ll now present a few highlights from my perusal of the Forbes Addition section. Funnily enough, three separate rooms claim the title for worst room on campus. (I apologize in advance to anyone who may be living in these rooms this year.)
A438
“Title-holding room for the single worst location on campus. Enumeration of its qualities (entirely con) is pointless as the only occupants will be hapless freshmen. To them I say: I feel truly sorry for you.”
A337
“there was that one time when a cockroach crawled out of the shower drain […] the rooms are right next to the bathroom and the cinderblock walls are deceptively thin, so you can hear when people use the bathroom. The bathroom has the smallest shower in the world, but at least now we have opaque doors. the first day though, the shower overflowed. one of the stalls is so small that only small asian girls fit in. if you decide to get a blacklight, you will surely notice interesting stains on the carpet, but it was not a problem because we got rugs! you should too if you know what I mean ;)!”
A418
“This room is awful. It has a linoleum tile floor and a lovely view of the kitchen garbage dumpsters. Every morning at approximately 8, 10, and 12 you get to be awakened by the garbage trucks coming and taking out the trash. It's AWESOME. Sloped ceiling, hot as hell in summer (yeah, heat rises), no elevator, small (rooms also get smaller as you go up). I hate this room. I am SO GLAD to be out of it. Whoever gets it next year- sucks to be you.
Possibly the worst room in the entire school. No joke.”
And, finally, this gem:
A424
“Ah, my friend. How I grieve for you in the way that only someone who has experienced this room can. As concentration camp survivors are the only ones who can truly know what it was like, so you and I, my brother, are among the few who can know the hell that is room A424."
Where do I start? How do I arrive at the ninth ring of the inferno?
Let me begin with some divine comedy: This room defies the laws of physics to both suck and blow at the same time.
Anyway, here's basically the breakdown.
Addition: 10 suck points
4th Floor: 5 suck points
Right outside the
Every night is an obnoxiously loud night at the oh-so-conveniently located fourth-floor lobby. It's basically a contest to see who can be the most inconsiderate in the shortest amount of time. Good luck sleeping before 2 a.m. The equivalent variation for having to take this room is measured in billions of dollars.
In short, do whatever you need to do to get out of this room. Sell your soul; it will be a bargain.
On a side note, if you ever wonder what it would feel to have homicidal tendencies (for an entire floor of people), this is the place to find out.
Clearly, the Forbes Addition experience just isn’t for everyone.
--- Andrew Sartorius
Sunday, September 27, 2009
The Woes of Wilson
After joining Wilson College last year, I quickly found that a great way to start conversations with awkward, fellow freshmen Wilson-ites is to complain. Whether it be about our food, ugly dorms, or inferior sweatshirts, we’re really good at making it sound as if our lives are just SO unfair.
This year I was pleasantly surprised to find with the opening of the new Wilcox dining hall I could scratch one thing off that list of grievances. But wait…not so fast. We expert whiners have found something new to complain about: the crowds at Wilcox. The other day it took me 15 minutes waiting in lines at the servery just to get lunch, and seats at meals have been scarce. Let’s be realistic here: I know that unless you’re an athlete and didn’t want to make the trip to your respective dining hall after sports practice or you live in Wilson, you certainly did not eat at Wilcox last year. In fact, I know you loved to tell me repeatedly how terrible Wilcox food was (I know, I know so did I). So what are you doing here now?
Another thing my friends and I loved to complain about last year was College Night at Whitman, Tuesday nights when only Whitman residents were allowed to eat in the dining hall. I recall my suitemate once saying to me, “It’s not fair they got placed in the nicer college and get special treatment continuously. It’s so pretentious!” Now, however, my suitemates and I desperately want to see a Wilson College Night instituted as quickly as possible. Apparently, we wilson-ites also love to contradict ourselves.
We had to eat in a big, white circus tent last year, so now we deserve to enjoy our dining hall in peace. Get out now!
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