Slippery Topics

What’s the best kind of lube to use?

Well, I can’t say that I’m an authority on the best lube, but I can tell you what I like and what I don’t like. Of course, when I finally discovered the necessity of lube (SO necessary), I went for the classics: KY Jelly and Astroglide. I found Astroglide to be ok, but I didn’t really know what made a lube “good” or not, and whenever it got on larger parts of my body it dried into a crust…not cute. So I tried Durex Play Massage, which claims to be a 2-in-1 massage gel and lubricant, and it was better in terms of crusting, but didn’t last quite as long. In all of these cases, handjob to blowjob action was unpleasant because they taste really bad. Once the lube was applied somewhere, fate was locked in...no one’s mouth was going anywhere near it. That summer, an older coworker of mine mentioned how much she hated Astroglide and how superior silicone lubes were to water-based. So my next purchase was Pjur Original Bodyglide, and except for a switch to a slightly different formula (Eros Light Love) I haven’t bought anything else since. It stays nice and slippery for a long time, it doesn’t crust or get sticky, it’s good quality, and one bottle lasts you a while. But remember, don’t use silicone-based lube with silicone sex toys… it can break down the material. If for some reason you’d prefer water based lube, be considerate and pick a glycerin-free formula: sugars feed yeast, and more yeast means yeast infections! Don’t feel confined to the sad CVS selection, the internet is full of lubricants to explore!

Hi SATS,

I was wondering about poppers, or nitrates being used for a head rush during orgasm. I've done a bit of searching online, and have found some references of their use in gay culture, but would this stuff help a girl get off? I'm not sure if I'm ready to do anal just yet, and was also wondering if this, or anything else (besides lube) would be good to keep around in case I want to experiment.

Inn Experimentation, PU Shy Hottie

“Poppers” are used recreationally predominantly by gay men, but also by straight men and women as well to get high or for the sexually pleasurable effects they can bring. Alkyl nitrites relax your muscles (such as those surrounding the anus and vagina) causing your blood vessels to dilate and your blood pressure to drop quickly. Your heart rate increases, and feelings of euphoria or “head rush” may occur (but it only lasts a few minutes). Both men and women report that the use of this drug is pleasurable, but some men have experienced a loss of erection after using nitrites. Sounds pretty good for the most part, right? Well, recreational use of the drug is illegal, so they are sold often as liquid incense or liquid aroma under sketchy, euphemistic names. Of course, I’m not going to encourage you to do anything illegal, especially just to “get off”, when there are plenty of legal ways to get yours. Also, as with anything, there are possible negative side effects such as nausea, vomiting, dizziness, the feeling of falling or spinning, rashes around the mouth and nose, and a weakening of your immune system for a few days after use. If combined with other drugs (especially ecstasy, cocaine, or Viagra), nitrites can be very dangerous or even fatal. While most of these side effects are rare, they are still to be considered. So to answer your first question, yes, women may find use of nitrates pleasurable as well as men, but it is not without risk.

As for your second inquiry, if you are not ready to try anal sex yet, then don’t worry about it. I would say it’s a pretty bad idea to keep nitrites around “just in case” you want to try anal sex in the future. Ignoring the legality, I feel that it is always better to try something like that (i.e. anal sex) in your right state of mind. In a euphoric, unusually relaxed state, you’re likely to go farther than you normally would or even should. That can mean pushing the limits of your body past what is safe and can result in injury. Plus, you don’t want to become reliant on a drug just to enjoy a sexual experience. If you really want to experiment, start out small. First try a pinky, then maybe an index finger or other finger of your choice. See how it feels. You may not even like it, and think about how much less you would enjoy a whole penis up there! if you’d like, move on to small/beginner anal toys that you can use on your terms in your own time. If you can relax yourself, and thus your own muscles, by being comfortable with yourself, your partner, and the situation, there should be no need for the use of extreme chemical intervention. If you are REALLY looking for something that will do some of the relaxing for you, Pjur makes 2 products, Analyse Me and Back Door intended to desensitize and relax the anal sphincter for anal sex. But again, if you’re not ready, don’t worry about it: you have many, many years of sex left to experiment with these things.


If you have a question to ask me about sex and/or relationships, send me an email at SexandtheStreet@gmail.com or leave a comment (anonymous, if you wish!). All questions will be kept strictly confidential so don't be shy!