Thursday, September 24, 2009

In case you missed it...

Princeton was ranked third in a scientific study of America’s 25 douchiest colleges by GQ magazine. That’s right: Old Nassau is apparently home to the “Eating-Club Douche” and such pick-up lines as, “Hi. My father invaded Cuba.” And I thought that Princeton parents only named residential colleges after their sons.

Still, I have to question some of GQ’s “douche criteria”: I don’t know about you, but I’d like to be someone’s boss in10 years. But according to GQ, being successful only serves to rack up double-digit “douche points.”

One can only wonder what GQ’s editors were thinking when they failed to include certain New Haven and Philadelphia schools (or the rest of the Ivy League, excluding Harvard and Brown) in the top 25. In fact, the IvyGate blog has the perfect explanation: “The real explanation involves the fact that all of you Columbia, Cornell, Dartmouth and Penn students hate to hear. Nobody really cares about the lesser Ivies. They don't have the golddigger sex appeal of the richest Ivy, the hippie sex appeal of the most liberal Ivy or the masturbation appeal of Princeton.”

I quite like that last part. So while we may be America’s third douchiest school, at least we’re not Duke (“Affectations: always ending the party by taking your shirt off and wrestling a guy named Schmitty”) or Brown (“Home of: The 'Peace Sign on My Mom's 7 Series' Douche”).

--- Andrew Sartorius