Friday, March 21, 2008

If the Presidential Candidates Lived in Princeton...

...who would they be? Here are my guesses:

Barack Obama - the celebrity professor in the Religion department

Hillary Clinton - the administrator in Nassau Hall who announces the new alcohol policy

John Edwards - the Community Action coordinator

Mitt Romney - the Wall Street recruiter giving a presentation for Bear Stearns at the Nassau Inn

Bill Richardson - the director of Frist Campus Center, at a ribbon-cutting ceremony for the new C-Store

Mike Huckabee - the chaplain of the Baptist Students Fellowship, with an office on the third floor of Murray-Dodge

John McCain - the townie who eats breakfast every morning by the window of Carousel

Ron Paul - the auditor sitting at the back of McCosh 10

Mike Gravel - the angry alumnus from the Class of '55 decrying the decay of campus traditions and morality under Shirley Tilghman

Dennis Kucinich - the Dinky conductor

Chris Dodd - the Public Safety officer breaking up another party in Brown

Joe Biden - the wise-cracking dad who embarrasses his daughter on an Orange Key Tour

Fred Thompson - the head of Annual Giving

Ralph Nader - Ralph Nader

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

hahah this is hilarious! clever and refreshing as always Hsia!

Anonymous said...

No, I think Huckabee would just be a member of Manna.

Anonymous said...

So the latino is in the food service industry. Nice.

dear anonymous #3 said...

I was worried that connection, but thanks for pointing it out. My original intent was to base Mr. Richardson on Tom Myers, the current director of Frist Campus Center (and my colleague on the ULC). You might have seen him around Frist. Obviously, a better idea would have been to change 'C-Store' to 'TV Room' to avoid any implied stereotypes.

dear anonymous #2,

I couldn't agree more with you.

-steve

Joe Zipkin said...

Very clever, Steve. May I respectfully submit that you forgot Rudy Giuliani, who tells you you can't get into Firestone without your prox and goes through your bag as you leave.