Monday, October 25, 2010

How to Clear Out Your Sacred Study Space

Tired of irritating little dweebs with the buzzing laptops from 1992 infiltrating your super secret sacrosanct study spot? Usually a nasty enough look can do the trick...but for those cretins who insist on inviting themselves right into your little corner of Fine Library this midterm period, here are a few tips on how to non-confrontationally take care of the situation: (We all know it'd be too easy to drop a few F bombs or dust off that Hello Kitty taser your brother bought you for your birthday).

1. Crack fingers loudly. Over and over again.
2. Cough, sneeze. Over and over again.
3. Groan and moan. Think Bubonic.
4. Start crying.
5. Talk on your cell, even if it's to nobody.
6. Crush your water bottles in a loud, offensive manner.
7. Start undressing. Don't stop until the perpetrator leaves. Or asks for your number.
8. Burp.
9. Mutter to yourself incessantly.
10. Pick your nose and flick the boogers.

I find myself in these situations time and time again, and these tactics have yet to fail. With especially hard cases, employ a combinational approach. Tactic 4 has proven especially effective. Remember, if at first you don't succeed, cry, cry again.

Happy midterming!

~The Blogstress